Guides, Not Lawnmowers: Student Self-Advocacy Tips for Parents

mrsorrispsea
Aug 13
5 min read

Some parents might shift in their seats reading this—and that’s okay. Even if your student is a top achiever, this information matters. Why? Because grades and test scores alone don’t prepare them for life after high school.

*Put the mower in park—it's time for your student to take the lead.*

College admissions teams, professors, and administrators keep sharing the same concern with me: students are arriving on campus academically prepared but lacking essential life skills. They struggle with self-awareness, independence, emotional intelligence, and self-advocacy—skills that are just as critical as good grades for long-term success. These skills aren’t optional—they’re essential.

Also, let’s be clear—what you're about to read isn't your typical grade-by-grade timeline from test prep companies. Those are important, yes—but what you’re about to read are real, practical strategies for developing the self-advocacy skills your student will need—not just for college applications, but for life. And they're worth your attention, even if some of these approaches feel different from what you might expect.

So, how do we help students develop them before they’re on their own? The good news is you can start teaching these skills now, no matter your student’s current grade level or academic standing.

#1: Teach Accountability and Listen Before You Leap

(They’re Watching You)

When something happens at school, it’s natural to want to jump into action. But before you do, pause. Listen to your student’s side and the other perspectives—teacher, counselor, administrator, coach, club advisor, or anyone else involved. Make informed decisions based on the full story, not just the initial emotions of seeing your student upset.

Also remember: your student is watching YOU. How you handle these situations becomes their model for how to respond in the future.

Guide them through reflection:

What happened?
How could it have been handled differently?
What can you do next time?

#2: Email Etiquette: A Life Skill (For the Classroom and Beyond)

Students should be the primary author of their own emails to teachers, school counselors, coaches, and others— with you as a supportive “co-captain.” Show them how to:

Begin with a respectful greeting (e.g., “Good morning Mrs. Smith”),
State their concern clearly and politely,
Close with gratitude,
CC you on the email for transparency.

The same respect applies to text messages and any other form of communication. Also, teach the human side—educators, counselors, and coaches have lives outside of school. They may not reply instantly, and that’s okay. Respecting their work-life balance fosters mutual respect.

#3: Plan Early with Your School Counselor On The Team

(Opportunities Come Fast)

Ask about Advanced Placement (AP), International Baccalaureate (IB), and Advanced International Certificate of Education (AICE) courses as early as 7th or 8th grade. Many schools offer “Pre-” versions of these programs that prepare students for more rigorous coursework later.

And for students in high school who are hands-on learners or want real-world experiences early, don’t overlook Career and Technical Education (CTE) pathways:

Career Dual Enrollment at Broward Technical Colleges – Students can apply during the end of their sophomore year or through their high school magnet programs. These programs offer industry-recognized certifications and valuable, hands-on training in high-demand fields.
Broward College Workforce Dual Enrollment Programs – Allows students to take career-focused college courses while still in high school, giving them an early head start toward a degree or certification in a growing industry.

These options not only help students explore career fields with strong growth potential, but also give them a preview of what’s expected in those careers if they continue their education. They’re a fantastic way to blend academic planning with career readiness.

When meeting with the school counselor, bring your student into the conversation. Ask about:

Current test scores and how they align with program readiness,
Areas where your student excels, and
Areas that need growth (and how to improve them).

Encourage your student to ask their own questions—it’s one of the best ways to practice self-advocacy.

#4: Review Course Selection Carefully—Every Year

(Colleges Notice What’s Missing)

Each year, review your student’s schedule to confirm they are taking all the core subjects every year (YES! even Senior Year): English, Math, Science, Social Studies, and a World Language (minimum 2 consecutive years). Also, check the level—Honors vs. Regular—and ask how these choices impact long-term goals.

If you’re in Florida, ensure your student is positioned to meet Bright Futures Scholarship requirements. Remember that course selection often happens in January, so be prepared to have these conversations early. Especially if you are interested in applying to special programs like Career/Workforce and Regular Dual Enrollment, they have their own registration cycles with strong deadlines!

#5: Approach Teachers, Counselors, and Advisors as

Teammates (Not Opponents)

Too often, school staff are seen as adversaries rather than allies. This mindset can limit communication and trust. Show your student—and model yourself—that these adults are part of their success team.

Before any meeting, sit down with your student to:

Prepare questions together,
Review goals and concerns, and
Encourage them to share their own voice during the discussion.

Also, make it a priority to set up a meeting with your student’s school counselor and teachers during the first weeks of school. This fosters early communication, builds relationships, and ensures everyone is on the same page to support your student from the start.

Additional Skills to Nurture This Year:

Because School Survival Requires More Than Just Emailing

Study Habits & Time Management: Teach them things like the “90-20 rule” (90 mins of focus, a 20-min break) and the “3-1-2 rule” to triage tasks. Planning beats cramming, every time. (Times of India)

Fight Phone Addiction: Better time management increases engagement and self-control, which then reduces phone dependence—a three-way win. (BMC Psychol)

Self-Regulated Learning: How to think about learning, monitor progress, use strategies... basically training them to be masters of their own brains. (Wikipedia)

Reflective Practice: Encourage them to think: “What worked, what didn’t, and next time I’ll…”—the metacognition engine. (Wikipedia)

Clubs & Activities: Have them join something, anything—even if it’s the banana-eating club. Builds confidence, connections, and gives them something to talk about besides math anxiety. (OMELLA | by Deepak Jain)

Pencil That Planner: Analog or digital, planners help them plan, reflect, adjust—and stop forgetting assignments at home. (TF Publishing)